There is just so much guilt that walks around with me on my conscience
I’m too tired to stand up on my own..yet i wana be left alone
Like a parasite i suck out the happiness..long before i should have known
Every scream that left your lips i remember..like a coward i just freaking left you to mourn
I ran in all directions yet these thoughts don’t go away
Scared to face what lies next in the dark..to go to my lord I’m too tainted to pray
There are too many voices in my head...each filled with taunts,, each filled with jests
Each screaming to me how worthless is my presence..only in death may i find the true essence
Somebody come & save me..look through me & see what is inside
Its pain and shame blended together..im running outta places to hide
I lock the doors..gag myself..then scream as loud as i can
Hoping someone would come & put through me a sword...but i lay there forsaken by my lord
If you knew how ugly i was you wouldnt waste a second with me
Only as long as i keep the mask on..your love wouldn’t betray me
I have broken down infront of you..yet you didn’t see what i wanted to show you
I just end up feeling naked infront of you...dont walk away coz there s so much you never knew
Im broken..these failures.. they destroyed me within
The journey has been too long..now each smile feels like a sin
I wonder if anyone would have thought this is how it would end when i was born
No better time to let go of this life... just before the sun rises & gives us hope..just before dawn
I fall into prostration & the screams begin to find their way out
Its between me & my lord...how loud do i need to shout
I have come to your abode...pleading for mercy
seven years of scary silent nights..i deserve to be free
So either you kill me..or find me a way to respite
Or give me courage so that i can take a knife and rip of my own wind pipe
I will finally face my own creator..& i know you might not forgive
But thats a chance im willing to take...coz this is not how one is supposed to live....
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